What Shrinks Know (#13): Creativity Can Look Like Madness

April 28, 2014 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, What Shrinks Know 3 Comments

“I feel Yasmeen’s energy surrounding me

and I smell the sweet and bitter scent of Clementines.” –

East of Mecca

Lately, I’m reminded why I write—why I write my blog and why I wrote my novel East of Mecca. One reminder came April 17. I was at a concert at SPACE, a local venue, when a woman asked if I was “Sheila.” When I said, “Yes,” she said she’d read my book and recognized me from my picture. This was the first time anything like this has happened to me, and I was surprised and pleased. She said lovely things about East of Mecca, but also told me how much she liked my blog posts—how they spoke to her on a personal level—that she recommended my blog to friends. Then she said, “You haven’t written much in a while.” I agreed, “It has been a while.” When I asked her name, I realized she had written a wonderful review on Amazon back in January, giving East of Mecca 5 stars. I thanked her, hugged her, and walked away feeling elated. Sherry Swaggart made my day!

What Shrinks Know (#12): The Alchemy of Joy

February 25, 2014 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, What Shrinks Know 1 Comment

“Profound joy of the heart is like a magnet that indicates the path of life.”

~Mother Teresa

I am weary of winter—and I’m not alone! Thanks to polar vortexes, joy has been in short supply this season! Even those of us who normally enjoy the unique gifts of winter have had enough of snow and ice and wind and way below zero temperatures. How naïve, I think now, looking back to December 9, 2013—when I rewarded myself for shoveling with a snow angel!

Like most people in Chicago, I’ve spent the worst winter on record hunkered down indoors as much as possible. To venture out is to first spend an inordinate amount of time layering up to protect against the very real danger of frostbite! No long walks by the lake for me! My cross-country skis languish on the back porch because I’m far too thin-blooded to brave frigid temperatures for the joy of skiing. I’m locked in polar misery.

Saturday morning, it was a balmy 19 degrees when I drove to my Zumba class and joined a gathering of other die-hard Zumba-fanatics. In the midst of this crazy winter, those of us showing up for Suzy’s class enjoy an immediate sense of camaraderie. And Saturday, one of the women was celebrating her birthday, so Suzy had created a special playlist of her favorite songs. It felt like a party. And, moving my body to the music in the company of thirty other laughing, dancing, sweaty women—I felt joy.

What Shrinks Know (#11): Some Wounds Never Heal

December 16, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, What Shrinks Know No Comments

December 14, 2013

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Today is a year since Sandy Hook. Friday, December 14, 2012, my husband and I were at the Christkindlmarket located in Daley Plaza in downtown Chicago. The open air old-world German market is a holiday tradition for us. We feast on bratwurst and potato pancakes and drink hot mulled wine and hot chocolate while navigating crowds of tourists and office workers on break. The atmosphere is festive. An enormous Christmas tree towers above colorful booths where mostly German vendors sell toys and holiday ornaments. Everywhere are delicious aromas of food and roasted candied nuts. There is a menorah, a nativity scene, and a Santa house. Entertainment includes brass bands, dance troops, and Christmas choirs. Music fills the air—along with the sound of children’s voices and laughter.

On Dearborn Street, directly across the street from Daley Plaza, a jumbo television screen is mounted on the side of a building. Last year at this time, breaking news of the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut was playing out on the screen. The story unfolded slowly and there was a continuous video-loop of terrified parents arriving at the scene and crying children being led from the school.

What Shrinks Know (#10): Laughter is Sustenance for the Soul

December 3, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, Friends, Photographs and Original Art, What Shrinks Know 6 Comments

“I love people who make me laugh.

I honestly think it’s the thing I like most,

to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills.

It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”

~ Audrey Hepburn

It may not be the most important thing, and it cannot be the only thing, but laughter is at the top of qualities I love in a person. The only thing better than laughing is shared laughter—hard laughter! The kind where something sets you both off at the same time, and you can keep it going—through words or a glance—longer than normal. Better yet, longer than appropriate! Best of all, long enough to get you in trouble!

I can name them—my oldest friends, my best friends, my mother, son and brother—all people who made or still easily make me laugh. Those I can count on to share a laugh in the darkest of times. I love it when one of my patients and I share a sense of humor, because laughter is healing. And if there can be both tears and laughter in a session, so much the better!

“East of Mecca” is Now Available

October 17, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, Revelations as a Writer, Writing East of Mecca 2 Comments

First, there was a dream—written in black ink in a spiral notebook—Northwestern University printed in purple across the cover.

My husband tells me that an ancient women’s creed part of the Koran is being carried across the desert by two women on horseback and coming into town. He orders me to get the story.

I climb into a small white pickup truck and drive a long way into the desert on a road heavily fenced on either side. It is sweltering hot—my hair is in a pony tail, but sweat drips from my bangs and runs down my face. At the end of the road is a checkpoint with three male guards who make me sign off the road. They give me clipboard and a pen, but the pen isn’t working and it takes me three attempts to sign my name.

After the checkpoint, I mount a horse and ride across the desert until I arrive at a ranch. There, I wait and watch until the two women ride up on horses. The women are very old. White scarves wrap their heads, framing tan, wizened faces. White flowing clothing covers their arms and legs and they wear leather sandals. They ride up to me and stop. Their dark eyes regard me silently. After looking me up and down, they exchange glances then solemnly pass me a colorful woven bag containing the piece of the Koran.

The dream is dated October 17, 1985. Twenty-eight years ago today. Four years before I went to Saudi Arabia. Before I knew Saudi was in my future. Before I had any exposure to Islam or understanding of the Koran.

Repost: Hope and Action

October 10, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts 2 Comments

Hey everyone, October 2013 marks the very first anniversary of my website! Looking back over my blog posts, I’m reminded of what an eventful year it was for the world, the nation, and for me personally. Over the past year I’ve had readers and subscribers from all over the world giving me insightful comments and feedback, and sharing their personal stories. You all inspire me to keep writing and posting, and for that I am forever grateful! Because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, today I am reposting my very first essay—Hope and Action. But look for another brand new post very soon!

Ragdale Redux ~ On the Seventh Day

September 9, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, Revelations as a Writer 1 Comment

September 8, 2013,

tree_swing

It’s cloudy today, and cooler than it has been all week. The magnificent storm we hoped for yesterday passed us by, but the humidity has broken. I woke up at nine this morning, after a solid night’s sleep. The first since I arrived. Usually, I’m a force to be reckoned with after so much sleep, but today I’ve got a case of the Sunday’s—moving slow and easy.

It was a great week, productive in every sense. I settled in, made new friends, ran every day, and got lots of writing done. This residency is a great gift. I am profoundly grateful for everyone who has a part in making it happen, and I don’t want to squander a moment. But yesterday afternoon I hit a wall.

Ragdale Redux ~ Day Three

September 5, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, Revelations as a Writer 1 Comment

September 5, 2013,

I’m settling into my residency—slowly getting to know the other residents, spending “tea time” at 4:00 pm with our lovely Chef Linda, working on my next novel, and exploring the Ragdale grounds and surrounding prairie and forest preserve. Mostly, I’m getting back to myself—and that means being aware of, and honoring the complicated bundle of contradictions that I am.

Always a light sleeper, I’m having trouble going to and staying asleep. At first, I chalked it up to being in a strange bed in a strange room. Nights are dark here in Lake Forest, and so quiet. Country quiet. Venturing out for a short walk after dinner last night reminded me what a “city girl” I am. The idea of an evening walk on the prairie was lovely, but after twenty minutes of being startled by shadows and spooked by rustlings I rushed back to the welcoming lights of the Barnhouse. At home in Evanston, nights are punctuated by the sounds of people walking on the sidewalks in front of our house, and the clatter of the el and the roar of the Metra passing on tracks located on the embankment directly across from our third-floor bedroom window.

Ragdale Redux ~ Day One

September 4, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, Revelations as a Writer 3 Comments

September 3, 2013,

Today I awoke to this lovely view. I’m in the Yellow Room on the second floor of the building called the Barnhouse at the Ragdale Foundation in Lake Forest, Illinois. Looking out, I see a red-brick courtyard and a statue of two geese. Directly beneath my window is the bronze “Bird Girl” statue made famous on the cover of the novel, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. The statue was sculpted in 1936 by Sylvia Shaw Judson here at Ragdale, her family’s summer home. From my window, I can glimpse the Ragdale House through tree branches. I call it “the big house.”

Today is the first full day of my eighteen-day residency at Ragdale. I arrived yesterday afternoon. This, my second residency, came up quickly. It was two weeks ago yesterday that I received the email from Regin Igloria, Director of Residencies, offering me an immediate residency starting on August 26th—if I could work it out. There was no way I could make it happen that quickly, but since it was literally the answer to my prayers I accepted for September 2, and here I am.

Saudi Stories (#2): Exposed and Empowered

July 22, 2013 By Sheila Flaherty in Blog Posts, True Saudi Arabia Stories 2 Comments

Last Tuesday, July 16th, I successfully cleared another hurdle in my life—I was interviewed on the radio by Melissa Heisler on The Empowerment Show. The interview was about my experiences living in Saudi Arabia and my forthcoming novel, East of Mecca.

Being an introvert, I’ve always been terrified at the prospect of public-speaking. Over the past few years books and articles have touted the advantages of being an introvert—but all the research in the world can’t reassure an introvert about to make her very-first-ever radio interview about her very-first-ever published book. Besides, I know interviewing someone is a hard job—and I wanted to be a good interviewee.